so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
