Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
