mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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