he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
whose parrot is this?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
