Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
