Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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