i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
