That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
