he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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