So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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