I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
