I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
