I just made out with a guy for $7.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
