tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
