Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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