I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
