there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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