Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Everything about him screamed your future.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
