Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
