I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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