Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
