When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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