Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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