PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't deserve a penis
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
