dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
