I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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