Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
