So drunk, too bad you don't want this
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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