Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
