I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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