Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
