This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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