my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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