Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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