So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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