guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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