Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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