You work out of a Hotel?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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