I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think my vagina is haunted
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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