let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
