i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
