i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
