Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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