I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just tell him i said nine months
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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