Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
