I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
