im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
