im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
worst night to have a conscience
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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