why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
