You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
