Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
