we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
