Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
