i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Alive.
So much puke
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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