ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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