***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize