how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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