Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
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