i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You dont lie about slip and slides
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize