I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
