So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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