In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
