it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
