I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
