i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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